GosuNoob Video Game Reviews
Shardpunk: Verminfall Review – Ratapocalypse Now
Shardpunk: Verminfall is an impressive label that attempts to check several pseudo-cultural reference boxes at once. The “punk” evokes retro-futurism; its prefix, “shard”, serves to distance this particular variety of punk from more mundane punks, such as steampunk or cyberpunk. This punk world, presumably dystopian, seems affected by “vermin” that caused some sort of “fall”,…
GosuNoob REVIEWS ARCHIVE
Everspace 2 Review – Interstellar Diablo
Free-form sci-fi combat/trading simulators are the rarest breed of games. You can practically count good ones using one hand, and even that seems like an…
Dredge Review – Sea is a Harsh Mistress
Dredging is the excavation of material from a water environment, usually the removal of sediments and debris from the bottom of lakes, rivers, harbors, and…
Resident Evil 4 Review – The Perfect Organism
Contrary to the other forms of art, perfection in gaming is a fleeting thing, prone to aging badly. Nobody would dare suggest improvements to Mozart’s…
The Last Spell Review – Chew You Up and Spit You Out
Suppose you are looking to spice up the early spring with a fantasy rogue-lite game, which one would you pick? A friend asked me that…
Company of Heroes 3 Review – Road To Rome
It has been roughly a decade since Company of Heroes 2. The real-time strategy genre didn’t exactly thrive back then, but now it’s objectively dead….
Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty Review – Nioh 2.5
It still perplexes me that the masochistic experience of Soulsborne games has become a global phenomenon played by millions, instead of staying a niche product…
The Settlers: New Allies Review – Boring Shores
Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It has been soooo long since the last Settlers game that I’m…
Atomic Heart Review – Come To My Oblast, Have A Blast
Since the first announcement teaser from 2017, Atomic Heart became “that uncanny soviet game” people loved to speculate about. The clips showed plenty of stuff…
Metroid Prime Remastered Review – Joyous Surprise
In an unexpected move, during the Nintendo Direct showcase, the company acknowledged the existence of Metroid Prime Remastered and announced its immediate launch. This beloved…
Deliver Us Mars Review – Nah, We’re Good
My father had a friend who worked for an old-school book publishing agency specialized in esothery and all sorts of new age faux-scientific hogwash. As…
Dead Space Review – Very Much Alive
Dead Space (2008) was the game that briefly made me see Electronic Arts in a different light. The company that acquired then killed some of…
Colossal Cave Review – Subterranean Obsolescence
The original Colossal Cave Adventure is one of the oldest examples of digital interactive fiction. In 1976, most civilians used the term “electronic brain” while…
Forspoken Review – Meghan Markle in Narnia
The best thing I can say about Forspoken is that it isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it will be. After trying that half-assed…
One Piece Odyssey Review – Fan Service
If you exist in a pre-millennial cultural plane, you might not know about the most successful manga of all time. The numbers that One Piece…
Children of Silentown Review – Forbidden Forest
A tiny village in the middle of a cursed forest, full of people abiding by specific rules to ward off the supernatural threat and stay…
World War 3 Review – No Nukes, Lots of Bullets
World War 3 is a free2play multiplayer FPS that sits somewhere between the callous casualness of Call of Duty and the hard-core ruggedness of Rising…
High on Life Review – Low on Everything Else
I must admit that I never watched Rick and Morty. A couple of cringey hipsters from my old job enthusiastically talked about it all the…
IXION Review – Frostpunk in Space
A potential solution to all Earth’s problems could be just giving up on it and colonizing another world. We’ll need a big colony ship, a…
Warhammer 40K: Darktide Review – I Serve the Soviet Imperium
Almost exclusively, Warhammer 40K games are about indulging the Space Marine power fantasy, slicing and boltering the xenos, mutants, and heretics by the bushel. Playing…