Death Stranding Launch Trailer is Eight Minutes Of God Knows What

Kojima Productions, the studio helmed by Hideo Kojima, has relased the launch trailer for Death Stranding, the new game by Hideo Kojima. Unlike most launch trailers, it’s eight minutes long, but I wouldn’t exactly call it illuminating. You might be able to connect a few more dots if you’ve followed the game closely. Otherwise, it will make no sense whatsoever. I presume it’s filled with spoilers, too, so if you want to experience it with fresh eyes, it’s probably best to avoid it.

This is probably the only game trailer I’ve ever seen that had opening credits. They’re two minutes long. Opening credits. On a piece of marketing material. Yes. It starts off with a scene in which post apocalyptic postman Norman Reedus drives a moped across the wasteland. Then we’re suddenly in the president’s office, looking at a poorly made AR map with giant scary people on it. Then it’s Postman Reedus again, tearing a bunch of dog tags that were hanging around his neck, and a flying baddy who wants us to keep quiet.

Now there’s Idris Elba, wearing a leather biking jacket over a fancy suit, along with a silly mask. Now lady president also has a silly mask, and she’s being held hostage by Nathan Drake’s good for nothing brother. An old lady is touching Postman Reedus, and he obviously feels she’s too close for comfort. He’s climbing steep cliffs, waddling through deep snow, drowning in a shallow stream and running away from six distinct kinds of enemies.

The mud people are trying to claim him as one of their own, but he’s not having any of it. There are some big scary monsters, and Hideo Kojima’s friend Guillermo del Toro is talking about Postman Reedus’ former baby. Now the old lady is president. There’s too much to untangle here, so I’m just going to stop at the Postman Reedus shower scene.